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Ashly!! Empty Ashly!!

Post by Ashly on Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:00 am

Deep breath. First, I am the luckiest gurl in the world. Second, some people say that I am insane. They have always said this but I only recently became a vampire. My good friend Alice Soileau introduced me to the lifestyle. Before that, I misspent the majority of my youth killing it in the trenches of the deep underground hip hop scene. Then, I spent some time as a degenerate delving deeply into debauchery and deplorable decadence. During that time I made many good friends, the best and most lasting being goyle (That’s all you get, goyle. Sorry.). After a time, I met someone very, very special. Like Disney f*cking Princess special. Her name was alyssa. Everything changed. Well, I was still a vampyre and some people still said I was insane but everything else changed.

Now, short diversion about alyssa, but don’t worry. I’ll get back to the middle arc of my origin story soon. After being a happy juicebox a few times, alyssa discovered Hellblood Castle. When I joined her there, she was already all comfy at home, gracefully and happily serving as a hostess with the mostest. Elvira (Literally the Queen of the Castle! How cool is that!?) and E/everyone else there even accepted Me and all of My antics. I mean, who wouldn’t? I’m f*cking adorable. Unfortunately, alyssa had to go away for a while and I was a major frumpy pants and going through some dark times of My own.

A lost soul, I was recruited as backup vocals and rhythm banjo for the tour of well a known metal band. After a few shows, I was kicked out for packing the drum kit with a small amount of explosives for our performance on a late night television show. I returned to the castle more despondent than ever. Even though My crazy was all the way to 11, good things kept happening. So, we can fast forward a bit. Oops, too far. Back a bit. There we go. This is the part where Queen Elvira was kind enough to adopt Me into Her Family and give Me a Home in Her Castle. Pretty awesome, right? I said I’m lucky.

It gets better too. Now, alyssa is back!! What the actual sh*t, right? I have glady hung up both my mad rhyming skills and my banjo despite clearly being a virtuoso. I have settled down to a quiet life. Most days, I spend time tending to a garden of plastic flowers and being with alyssa and the F/family in the castle. How is that for some real fairy tale sh*t, huh? I told you early on that I’m the luckiest gurl alive. L/let’s have fun storming the castle!!

P.S. I actually do value goyle’s friendship a lot but he must never know.

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